Phew… this Monday is the start of my second semester at NSU as a Junior. I want to come across super positive and maybe I am super deep deep down but just on surface level deep down I am kinda freaking out.
All week and weekend leading up to this Monday I have heard these terrible words from so many different people. “Woah 20 hours… You got a load… How are you going to do it…Good luck… That looks overwhelming…” Man, they all come across super encouraging, right?
In those moments, I somehow think two different things at once. The first being, “I got this!” The second being, “Holy crap, what have I done?” Of course, I want to talk about the last one. I haven’t really thought much about it. It would cross my mind and I would partially panic for two seconds and realize I do got this. But on the other hand, when others just constantly tell you all those phrases above, it eventually makes you lose sight longer than usual.
I found that tonight was one of those nights I was overwhelmed. I hate being overwhelmed because I know it is a sign that I am losing control over something that God had told me previously not to worry about. I hate it so so so so much.
But anyway, tonight all of my classes officially came to life on blackboard and some professors syllabuses also came online as well. This wouldn’t bother me that much if it weren’t for the fact that the first syllabus I read was literally the scariest syllabus I have ever read. No joke.
What professor puts on their syllabus scary homework assignments that you know are going to take you hours to do? Okay okay… I am not being rationale. All professors do but it was just the amount on the syllabus and the wording. Very overwhelming. But gosh… Can I just say, I think that was the final straw to finally get my feathers ruffled. Why? I’m not sure but once I opened that syllabus I suddenly began to feel overwhelmed and sorry for my own situation.
I guess what I am trying to really lead into with this blog is that this is nothing but a stupid sly tactic from the devil. Sometimes it is hard for me to believe that the devil can get through to those you love and make them say stupid things that can throw you off completely. He can also make you feel overwhelmed, scared, unsure, worried, confused and fearful in your situations because sometimes even when we don’t want to admit it, it is inside of us and he finds it. He is always trying to find a way to make your feel like you can’t trust God.
But you know what? The devil wants you to lose sight of what God already told you he had taken care of. He wants you to think that Our God can’t understand or get you through something such as college classes. And sometimes even me, a girl who has been following Christ for years, falls and thinks that maybe just maybe the devil could be right. It happens. I understand but I am here to tell you with some encouraging words that he is a liar. You don’t deserve to feel overwhelmed. You deserve to feel strengthened. You deserve to feel like a conquerer because you are going to be.
I want to just say ignore it but it isn’t that easy to just “ignore it”. Sometimes we need to hear more than that and in that case here is what I am going to say. Our God promises us that He is with us. Not just for the good but for the moments where we feel alone and feel that our ship is sinking. He promises to be there for us ALWAYS AT ANYTIME IN EVERY WAY!! He is Our amazing Father who tells us to come to Him when we need rest and He will give it to us. He also tells us that He will get us through those rocky moments and strengthen us with His peace and love.
That may not be enough for you but it is for me. I feel so great right now because even though I know deep down I am overwhelmed by one of six syllabuses, I know I am not alone in my journey. My Father isn’t going to let me sink. He is going to show me how to swim. He is going to teach me new things this semester and He is going to remind me of everything I have that will get me through what might seem like a stressful period of my life. Wow… Is Our God good!!!
Don’t let the words of others scare you. Don’t let the devil bring your ship down because initially it wasn’t meant to sink. God has your hand and He is walking with you every step of the way. Trust and breath. You got this! I got this!
Psalm 119:28
My soul is weary with sorrow; strength me according to your word.
Simply Samantha 